i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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