he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
