I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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