So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
