Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
