So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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