I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
