well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
