Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
