8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
