New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just want to make out with him forever
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
