I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
