oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
