would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
