His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
