are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
