The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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