I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
