By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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