I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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