Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
