I skipped work to stalk him.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
