He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just found a bag of teeth...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
