Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
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I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.