He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.