OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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