marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
