i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
