i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
