I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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