She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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