Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You pole danced in your parka.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
