was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
