is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
