another moral hangover. fuck.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
