I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
