How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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