I just threw up on my dentist
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
