And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
