So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
