And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
