I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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