Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
