Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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