Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
