the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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