Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
