So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
