absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
