if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize