My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
