I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
