He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
