You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Acid is not a monday night drug
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Randomize
