he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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