i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
