i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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