fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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