I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize