since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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