You're completely useless in the revolution.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
