Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
