I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
