Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
