1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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