I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
