i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My penis needs a shock collar
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
