Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
