The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
