You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
