One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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